hmmm.....

Just like so many times before, She spoke my mind , Though the family bit,reason is probably a little different.

From woman, man is born; within woman, man is conceived; to woman he is engaged and married. Woman becomes his friend; through woman, the future generations come. When his woman dies, he seeks another woman; to woman he is bound. So why call her bad? From her, kings are born. From woman, woman is born; without woman, there would be no one at all. — Guru Nanak, Raag Aasaa Mehal 1, Page 473  (Courtesy: Wikipedia) Trigger,thoughts of research in the past.Trying to write,nothing seems to be helping.So thoughts are flowing,but none to write.None right.

Everyday I pray For wings To fly away

8:51AM I feel useless. I feel like weeping loudly at my uselessness. I missed some very important deadlines. Did I mention I feel useless? Where is that memory that I rely on? Where is the calm I used to work with? Where am I?

Well,did not meet certain stupid,dumb friends on Saturday.Could not make it to the wedding (I knew I would not be able to go,so not really feeling bad) on Sunday so no way I could have met them there too.I guess I'll have to meet them some other place,some other day. I miss so many people,its not funny.I do not tell this very openly but well,I do miss them. My newest friend in the world is leaving for her hometown in a couple of days.It makes me heavy hearted.I have gotten so used to her.My schedule depended on her and now I'll probably go a tad bit more crazy the next week.

In a few ways,the last one month has been a little bit overwhelming. I have been unsuccessful at certain things I applied for. I have also been tired of people telling me it'll all work out.No not because I am bugged with them,I am just getting to the point of wondering 'Pray tell me,when'.I mean this mainly on a professional front.But otherwise I think I am pretty alright. The dearest new addition to our family is an eye opener on so many accounts.And I cannot seem to remember what life was like without her.Yes, it does sound dramatic but I really DO feel like that. At the same time,I think I will never stop missing Mummy and Ammamma,but I am learning to live with that.I take time to learn things,but when I do learn them,I DO learn. I have always been very proud,borderline arrogant about my maternal lineage.No,we do not come from royalty.We do not come from fame.But, we do come from a line of exteremly strong woman.My great grand-mother,my grandmom,my mom,my aunts,m...

I looked behind and saw you there Laughing,talking,crazy And I walked further, with the thought of you,knowing you were not far behind Then came the distance between us I barely saw you But,you were there when I glanced So,once more, I walked further. I saw some fire, and chaos, but not once,was I ever lost Still,through this I knew,you were somewhere, I'd reach out to you And then you called out to me,I turned, I smiled and then I crossed to find me in newer lands I got lost, cried,laughed, found newness, missed the old and trying to find it I went looking then I remembered, about you. About I went, but now it was not about you It was about me, trying to find me, the old me, through you But now I stand, with almost a tear, I see you smile, and wave from the other side. With someone new and maybe more true I know I should be happy and grateful,for you. I find myself stranded on a road I chose, the road I lost you to yo...