hmmm.....

You are but a friend my friend Yet, you exist and that matters

만질 수가 없어도 돼 안을 수도 없어도 돼

plain fruit n nut and maybe silk (simple) bournville i miss you

She holds on to thoughts to dark dreams dreads

Do you have people who bring a smile on your face when you think of them? I do. college friends.(majority girls) nephew and niece (one is 17 and one is barely 5) family (well the handful of them anyways) and currently, maybe even temporarily two friends from my current life just by being themselves one the super friendly one one the extremely smart and sober one both have had mentions on my blog earlier  but today sleep deprived me thanks the universe for them.No reason.

There is a kid I mention and wish on this blog almost every December. Today he knocked on the door and I saw him after years. He is taller to me but maybe a foot or so (I'm four feet nine inches so cannot judge the true 'tallness' of most people). He was upstairs working on a team project. He came to borrow a stapler! We were in the middle of lunch. But so nice to see him. So very nice! Been years. I may sound redundant. Its sad history repeating itself. Atleast he (we) were lucky that they moved away and probably barely remembers. And hurt remains with only us (mainly me). But for his father and my mom, her sisters...it was a deeper and longer connection. I wonder how much it hurts them. Its not my ego that stops me from contacting or confronting...its the anticipation of consequences. I'm a very optimistic person (I like to believe I am anyways) but there are some things I've learnt not to have hope about. This situation is one such instance. But a...

'... sochtha hoon ki Geet yahan hothi tho kya karthi. Aur main wahi kartha hoon.'-Aditya, Jab We Met. Just like that. Who is the voice in your head? Mine is a stranger from far away lands.

'We've danced this dance before.' She thought. Would the twirling lead to the same end? Would the vanilla smell of the night remain Or become a bitter flame? But she thought for old time's sake. 'Let's dance this dance to the very end.'