hmmm.....

The you, that I let go of. But who trails behind like and an echoing whisper, ever there, ever haunting. Somewhere at the back of my head.

So, as ever I find someone so fascinating from a distance Like their taste, their mere existence but i'll keep that distance, because they usually turn out to be mirages. This one too. A fascinating story i'd like to know more about but will only move away cause i can see the consequences.

All these years later, I still close my eyes and think of the 'trust exercise'. I still think of worst case scenario. And then, keep a distance or cut off from people who don't fit in these categories. Life is too short to waste on such formalities for a prolonged period of time. And to all those who have been in this zone. Thank you. 

The same me. The same you. But how much we've changed or is it the times? No. We've always been this way The same me. The same you. And somewhere, somehow, we knew this to be true. All the long walks, the longer phone calls, the crying, the yelling. The same me. The same you. The fights, claims to who was right. The apologises, starting anew. The same me, the same you. The me that remembers, the you that forgot, or the me that forgot that, you do remember. The same me. The same you. Not how long, its how well you know a person. But knowing is what , brought us here. The same me, the same you. Reading looks, finding truth, sharing pain, calming cares and the hurt. The same me, the same you The blame games, the sentiments, the blatant lies, and then the truth, all of it meant, the same me, the same you. Fear it will happen again, Fear it won't. Finding,the same me, and the same you .  (Here's hoping my ill...

It has been a while since I posted anything Christmasy or since I posted a video (I think?).  Was listening old  (read the 1990s) 'private album' songs on YouTube and this started playing. It reminds me of Picket and happy memories. It reminds me of the school library where I started reading O.Henry. It reminds me of Christmas in H-1, Essaar Apartments, West Marredpally. And next song (while I post this is Piya Basanti, but that is for some other time.) Until then (in case I don't blog before that) wish you all out there, a very merry Christmas. May Santa visit you in many forms (the syncretic in me speaks :P)

..from my deep slumber these are the thoughts I had: The dear kid is going to turn sixteen tomorrow. Sixteen. Sixteen. Maybe repeatedly saying it will help. I wonder what he is like now and what he looks like. I love that kid I once knew and It'll remain that way. My laziness is directly proportional to the number of utensils I need to wash (do the dishes). That is how much I dislike doing the dishes. Although atleast now I have a proper sink to soak them and wash them well. I wash them fast when I start, but old habits and tastes die hard. Probably because of all the noise they make back while washing, probably the cold winters when we were kids and my colder hands...don't know which of those is the main reason but reason or not, not my favourite thing to do.  And lastly, I found Full House (eng) decent streaming at last! Wooohoooo! Happiness! 

Comes something good. From everything terrible Comes something fabulous. From every weak moment Comes a spectacularly strong one From every few bad relationship Comes that one exceptional one. Today, I am thankful for all the bad moments For I appreciate the good ones better. For this shall be the future too. I'll probably be sad again. I'll be put down again. But each time I'll fight back. Each time I'll gain a thing or two. Each time I win a true friend. Thank you.

No don't get me wrong. Winter is still cold. And snow Its white, hurt and dreary so, but winter is warmth. One winter day in a home full of kids. The smiles that melt your hearts. Another winter day when you are cold and a stranger says a caring word The next day in hurt, you still go along and find flowers, that bloom against the odds Yet another day, in snow and rain someone from the past makes you feel loved Winters are cold. Winters will be. But these hidden hands that hold you through, make... winters once cold, winters of warmth. (To certain people who have just made me so very thankful in the last few days. My winter has become bearable because of you guys. Hello Kitty. MeM and MichL)

The you who makes me                  think there is hope again The you who makes me                  believe that the past can still be beautiful The you who makes me                  smile easy The you who almost makes me                  think, its all going to be okay again The you who almost makes me                  think that surreal is true After all its you

Summer times, winter times, spring and autumn too, seasons shall never change -Snowdrops and Daffodils Come to me in my dreams and then by day I shall be well again For the night will more than pay the hopeless longing of the day -Mathew Arnold