hmmm.....

In a few ways,the last one month has been a little bit overwhelming. I have been unsuccessful at certain things I applied for. I have also been tired of people telling me it'll all work out.No not because I am bugged with them,I am just getting to the point of wondering 'Pray tell me,when'.I mean this mainly on a professional front.But otherwise I think I am pretty alright. The dearest new addition to our family is an eye opener on so many accounts.And I cannot seem to remember what life was like without her.Yes, it does sound dramatic but I really DO feel like that. At the same time,I think I will never stop missing Mummy and Ammamma,but I am learning to live with that.I take time to learn things,but when I do learn them,I DO learn. I have always been very proud,borderline arrogant about my maternal lineage.No,we do not come from royalty.We do not come from fame.But, we do come from a line of exteremly strong woman.My great grand-mother,my grandmom,my mom,my aunts,m...

I looked behind and saw you there Laughing,talking,crazy And I walked further, with the thought of you,knowing you were not far behind Then came the distance between us I barely saw you But,you were there when I glanced So,once more, I walked further. I saw some fire, and chaos, but not once,was I ever lost Still,through this I knew,you were somewhere, I'd reach out to you And then you called out to me,I turned, I smiled and then I crossed to find me in newer lands I got lost, cried,laughed, found newness, missed the old and trying to find it I went looking then I remembered, about you. About I went, but now it was not about you It was about me, trying to find me, the old me, through you But now I stand, with almost a tear, I see you smile, and wave from the other side. With someone new and maybe more true I know I should be happy and grateful,for you. I find myself stranded on a road I chose, the road I lost you to yo...

I had a nice Ugadi. Very uneventful,but TK made my day by calling up. I fell solidly sick after that,and then got busy because of certain little creatures visiting me. But now,I am back. Vela. So will blog more. Also,kindly ignore my previous post,it was part of my Calvin state.:)

Dear God, i'm very close to disliking you right now. Dear Universe, what goes around,comes around

I want to go on a vacation. Where I don't have to book the tickets. Where I don't need to think about the logistics. Where I don't need to worry about the stay. Where I don't need to care for the cost. But most of all, I want to go on a peaceful vacation,where no one will bother me. And I will not be bothered by anyone. And even more importantly,among the above, I do not want to be the one to book the tickets. Just once,really.I mean it, till I finish getting tired of booking tickets. Thats all. I need a vacation.  

A)Good Nervousness and Bad nervousness I feel nervous on several occasions.When I have a grand surprise for someone.When I have sent in an application for something I am really keen about.When I am going to try something new-which I am either scared about or have been wanting to try my whole life or both. My good nervousness is when I know I can do well,but still I am nervous because I've not done it before.My bad nervousness is when I am more confident that I am about to ruin something even though I know I can actually do it. I like to be left alone either way, I don't like people 'pep talking'.I don't mind when they distract me with some random 'Pup trying to find its tail' type pointless stories.I don't even mind when they tell me,once or maybe twice that I can do it.Especially if it is right before. Today I was thinking,how since after school I have been scared of the stage.Yes,ironically so.Especially when it came to speeches and more so speec...

Yes,Queasy. That's how i remember feeling when a friend told me about how some worker who had come to do some repairs at home treated her,I was eight.I did not understand but I still felt awful and very bad for my friend.She,did not tell people at home.I do not talk to that girl anymore,but it had to do with growing up with other interests.At that point she was a close friend,whose house I went to for every birthday party. Queasy. I have had/still do some friends whom I can talk about anything under the sun.From crushes,to craziness ordeals,to complaints and wishes.Everything.Among my school friends,i have two such friends.Though they may not know me as well as some others,my school friends know my basic self,the un-altering angry-crazy core self.And even the good parts.One of these friends,I was talking to about child abuse and how there is no adjective to describe how i feel about it.Horrendous maybe but that seems too simple too.And then,this friend (whom at that point I k...