hmmm.....

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Ok,I believe that I get happy at small things.Thats how I am built.But that said,i get sulky also over small things. Especially considering,all the time they seem to happen only to me,at home. Dresses,things,food.Maybe I do not belong after all. As menial as it may seem to others,these are gigantic issues to me.I 'feel off' about them. Note to self: If this blog goes anymore sad,I shall delete it once for all this time around.

There are some scars in life that we cannot recover from.How much ever you try.No matter how much time is passed.However hard you try to move on,they come back to haunt you,in some form or the other. Today,it happened to me.Again.Yes,again.The day started out normally,little did I know that the end of the day will bring back those painful memories from my deep dark past. Should I say it is amazing,is that the right way to describe how all senses crawl back into your memories,with that one visual past?The smell,the feel,the air,the sound.How I wish we could bottle up some thoughts to be stored away,in an unreachable corner of our minds.A place where these maddening,deafening,hurtful memories,thoughts remain hidden forever.It started with a few words I hear over the television,something that I hardly watch these days.Then came the phone conversation,which made it worse.Why did I deserve this?For that matter,why did anyone who experienced this,deserve it?Some questions can never be ...

I am easily,one of the most selfish people I'll ever meet.

Life is flying where are you? Today,thats how I felt.Not in a bad way.Just,suddenly i realise I know ta different person in the same person. From that little kid dancing n Aisi's Duggi T-Shirt,to making mad noises with emty utensils on the pretext of cooking.To today.Throwing a fit and running off to Mumbai.Almost a teenager.

Various Random Ponderings -I am sort of muhuhahahing right now.:) All thanks to Batty and Sudz.I have a lightsaber.For something made from the scratch,it is awesome.Apart from that,it did not feel 'leap' yearish today.Sudz,Batty and Mahadev came home,as usual Sudz and me lived upto our Dumb Charades reputation. -Watching SuDa (No Sudz,this isn't you),I was seeing,how she has grown in her marriage.From the girl who cried and scared almost everyone around her,and got scared herself,to the person,who seems to have blended in,who has become a sister and daughter.Coming from a traditional,conservative family,getting married in a more open-traditional family.Its very nice to see her like this.Hmmm,many more thoughts about this but,maybe later. -I haven;t had a long phone conversation with ANYONE in ages,mainly because after I ignored it for so long,by phone is giving me haath.I intend to kaam chalao with it until April,after which I will use some old katara phone (happily...

Bichad gayaa... Bichad gaya har saathi dekar pal do pal ka saath Isko hee jeena kehtey hain tho yoohin jeelenge Uf na karengey,lab seelenge,aasoon peelenge, Gham sey ab ghabraana kaisa, Gham sau baar mila I do not really know how many times I have seen Pyaasa,I do not really know how many more times I will see it.I do not really know how much I like Guru Dutt.I do not know if I ever did not like him.And,I do not really know,how many lyricists can sound as cynical at the same time,poetically beautiful like Sahir Ludhianvi.