In this era of the internet, a lot of our communication and relationships rely on being online. But thankfully, most of such relationships of mine have been with people I know in real life so it was relatively easy to continue conversations off of online. One person I used to regularly talk to from the beginning of our friendship was F. I have mentioned him briefly before. We belong to the part of the same extended group of friends. And somehow we hit it off (somehow being the keyword) from the time we met. We met on a trip all of us went to eleven years ago. I did not keep in touch with or converse with a lot of people from that group, I was not my best version when I went on that trip so I knew the ones that remained afterwards were going to be there for the long run.
If you know me, you have heard about the trip. Also, we have established by now that I do not completely get people but go by my emotions towards them. I don't get attached easily but when I do, not let go easily. Quiet people are more fascinating than the ones that talk like I do. Especially if such quiet ones talk to me. He was the one who gave me the nickname that has stuck all these years (which in hindsight maybe as a 23-year old I should have minded, but I was not offended back then and I am not offended now). Nicknames are usually terms of endearment to me and probably that is why I didn't mind.
And as I mentioned earlier, we used to regularly talk online. It was nothing important. It used to be mundane things like 'How is your day'.And this continued to more random conversations some times. After a year a two, I knew some things about him which I still think are true. He is not the most generous. He is very loyal. He is indifferent. He loved someone and does not like talking about it. He loves meat. He considers friends' significant others important even when he does not like them. This last bit I know because his friend and my friend are now married. I feel the same way about my friend's SO as he feels about my friend. And I know this because he told me. But he never let the rest of the group know he felt. (I have not been so subtle)
By then I honestly thought we were friends. Not the closest of ones but steady ones. And then it happened. He stopped talking to me. Five years of conversations, getting to know each other apparently meant nothing. That part of me who tries and tries again asked. No reply. The indifference came into play. The distance grew. It helped that I was cleaning up a lot of my baggage around the same time so although it hurt, I was able to let go of it. We did run into each other on three different occasions after that but I carefully avoided him, Because I knew well enough by then that I did not mean a thing in his life. I did wish him for his birthdays for a couple more years because I am that person who does that. I tried to get things back to what was our normal but well gave up.
And then the day before yesterday a friend from the same group and his wife invited me to their house for a function. The friend's wife told me that other friends would be coming too and went on to mention F too. And I told her, umm I haven't spoken to him in years now. And she says (Without getting the tone or content of what I was saying) and said 'Oh great then you can catch up with him'. Sigh. Nice people are so unaware.
I had my share of awkward for the year or so I thought until I reached the function. Once I got there, F told the couple that he could not make it. And then after convincing, he came. And because I have been quiet about the whole thing, the friend's wife was enthusiastically trying to get us to sit together so that we could catch up. But at least the couple was with us the whole time. Before I could get comfortable, F and I were in the same room. Alone. My phone became my new friend. And then he started talking to me.
Him: How are you?
Me: I am good.
How are you?
Him: Good...umm okay okay (I don't know if he remembered our old joke or it has just become a habit now)
Did you buy that rice wine?' (Me: Ehh what is he saying?)
That one which PoPa gave. It was bad.No one liked it.
Me: I gave it to PoPa because she liked it the first time I bought it for her.
Him: It was bad
Me: Well I told her to share it with N. I even gave them Soju.
Enter N's parents and F saying 'Okay hush'
Then he asked me when did you come back. I told him. And then I asked him when he had come (I forget that someone else had mentioned it to me) . I asked him how was Indore? I heard the street food is good
Him: Yes. All vegetarian. They put sev on everything. They have sev on pizza.
Me: Well better sev than sweet potato or pumpkin on and in pizza.
And then thankfully for both of us, the couple joined and we all got out. The rest of the conversations that happened that evening/night was ragging the poor friend who had invited us. And he is a good sport so was cool about it. But the whole experience (I have omitted some parts of the evening or conversation) made me think about how relationships can fade. And that makes me even more thankful for the ones that stay. And I cannot see the future, but I don't know where this friendship will go from here. Probably nowhere. But I will always have those happy memories, like the first-ever one.
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